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I’m not really big on the idea of “distracting yourself from the election” and whatnot because I think you are an adult, and not paying attention is a luxury that relatively few have.
But there is a difference between civic engagement and just staring at Twitter all day watching some guy — whose avatar is always his small child for some reason? — tweet stuff like “Exit polls from Grombular County in Western Kamtarko (which has gone blue in the last 14 of 17 elections) signal that this is anybody’s race.”
So in that spirit, here is literally a bunch of internet stuff I just thought of or pulled from the archives.
TIME FOR SOME STORIESYou could kill the whole day on just this perfect thread. Keep an eye out for a couple of my faves: “danger point” and the one about the mud and the lost-and-found.
The Big Egg. [I first watched The Big Egg my freshman year at liberal arts school in Iowa. I'd been waging an unabashedly thirsty campaign to befriend Isabel, the girl who lived downstairs from me. We'd sit on my dorm room bed, hunched over my HP laptop, and iTunes libraries, read Hipster Runoff posts aloud, and wet our Urban Outfitters skinny jeans watching videos like The Big Egg, which we thought was the funniest thing ever committed to video. We became best friends that year, and still regularly quote The Big Egg to each other 12 years later (it's a digital zoom, it's not so great). —Emma R.]
Tight Pants / Body. [Sometimes the phrase "high kicks / high kicks" and the sweet off kilter melody will randomly arise unprompted from the depths of my brain folds and I have to go watch it again to banish the ear worm back down again. —Jacob K. ]
Giant Squid Call #1 [It doesn't have many views, it has more dislikes than likes (probably because people thought it was supposed to be real), but it's a concise, wordless bit that I go back to occasionally.—Ben F.]
Mid-West Freestyle Canoe 2007 -- Marc Ornstein [this, is, i assume the height of american culture. a man in a bowtie gently canoeing to Chris de Burgh's 1896 smash hit Lady in Red, while a crowd of midwesterners sporadically and politely applauds—James V.]
Thank you for reading BNet. Pwease wemember to dwink watew and stawp doomscwolling.