a ton of junk

no rhyme, no reason

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I’m not really big on the idea of “distracting yourself from the election” and whatnot because I think you are an adult, and not paying attention is a luxury that relatively few have.

But there is a difference between civic engagement and just staring at Twitter all day watching some guy — whose avatar is always his small child for some reason? — tweet stuff like “Exit polls from Grombular County in Western Kamtarko (which has gone blue in the last 14 of 17 elections) signal that this is anybody’s race.”

So in that spirit, here is literally a bunch of internet stuff I just thought of or pulled from the archives.

TIME FOR SOME STORIES You could kill the whole day on just this perfect thread. Keep an eye out for a couple of my faves: “danger point” and the one about the mud and the lost-and-found.

Go ! Bwaaah !

Brokeback to the Future

Sequestered in Muppets

Rapper Redfoo LMFAO Chats with Jim Cramer on the Mad Money show

Back at it again at Krispy Kreme

Charlie the Unicorn

Drinking Out of Cups

The Autostraddle post apologizing for their coverage of Sausage Party

This sorority email

Man Flies Like a Bird Flapping His Own Wings (Update 6)

“You ever wonder what the bottom of an avatar’s shoe looks like?”

Spaghetti Cat

Spaghetti Cat song

Kelsey Grammer's Frasier Falls Off Stage

Elastigirl's Face Falls Off - Disney, Florida 16/1/2014

Star Wars Kinect “I’m Han Solo”

What I Learned From Putting All of My Crushes Into a Secret Facebook Group

that dumb song fireflies with dog and cat instead of person

BARNEY - Hit Em up

Lazy Town-Cooking by the book remix ft. Lil Jon

Keeping your refrigerator stocked will get you many women

David Blaine Street Magic

Supa Hot Fire

Now That's What I Call Songs Sung To The Tune Of "Two Princes" By The Spin Doctors 5

Siblings or Dating?

Strong Bad Email #57 - Japanese Cartoon

Strong Bad Email #109 - Crying

Pitchfork reviews Jet’s Shine On

Perfect Day --- Lou Reed feat Luciano Pavarotti

Macy's Thanksgiving parade RickRoll

The Fire Melon

The Onion lightning round

Sex House

Prague's Franz Kafka International Named World's Most Alienating Airport

Looking Back On My Life, I Guess My Biggest Regret Is Trying To Fight That Alligator 5 Minutes Ago

Bruce Springsteen Releases New Sci-Fi Concept Album About Struggles Of Poor Miners Working On Mars

Obama's Weekly Video Addresses Becoming Increasingly Avant-Garde

New Subway Promotion To Honor Subtember 11

Tumblr stuff

i’m feeling kinda low rn :/ can someone please post baba yetu?

the “All I Want for Christmas Is You” MIDI

“Band Girl throw the sword high.”

AlienTic i found this windows 3.1 program in an archive and it’s amazing. all it is is tick tac toe but with these weird ass simpsons faces instead of x’s and o’s.”

really vibing with this guy going off about permaculture on the farming simulator '17 boards

Ain’t Like That Now

“The fact that the moves are identical scares and surprises me to no end”

The Monsters University gifset that got taken over by DD/LG RPers


Somebody once told me the CHAAAAAAANGE Is gonna roll me I said yep.

lying on the internet: a collective, pt I

lying on the internet: a collective, pt II

Art 1992



“yes babe, the heelys are off this time I promise, please come back to bed”

How to Draw Pikachu

Every Melee character moveset swapped with Captain Falcon’s taunt


oprah + produce masterpost

Found this beauty while looking at my art from grade 9

Snoop Dogg understands memes

When you finally get a shiny Ponyta

“where’s that pic of hey arnold snorting helga”

Official Timeline of Will Smith

“These are just a few of the reasons I hate Yahoo…”

“what in the fuck does my sister think she's doing?”

“to my ex:”

“From a set of Mario quiz cards.”

“Art of Mario celebrating Hanukkah from a Mario quiz card.”

not so fast

Escape From the City” on kazoos

Submissions from BNet’s loyal readership

The Big Egg. [I first watched The Big Egg my freshman year at liberal arts school in Iowa. I'd been waging an unabashedly thirsty campaign to befriend Isabel, the girl who lived downstairs from me. We'd sit on my dorm room bed, hunched over my HP laptop, and iTunes libraries, read Hipster Runoff posts aloud, and wet our Urban Outfitters skinny jeans watching videos like The Big Egg, which we thought was the funniest thing ever committed to video. We became best friends that year, and still regularly quote The Big Egg to each other 12 years later (it's a digital zoom, it's not so great). —Emma R.]

Tight Pants / Body. [Sometimes the phrase "high kicks / high kicks" and the sweet off kilter melody will randomly arise unprompted from the depths of my brain folds and I have to go watch it again to banish the ear worm back down again. —Jacob K. ]

CHEP [—Christopher R.]

NBA on NBC Rejected Commercial [A favorite from the old Internet. —Michael B.]

gifCollider [—Sidney L.]

Unintelligible Empanada Truck - Puebla Mexico [—Carlos M.]

Giant Squid Call #1 [It doesn't have many views, it has more dislikes than likes (probably because people thought it was supposed to be real), but it's a concise, wordless bit that I go back to occasionally. —Ben F.]

Take me to the edge [my favorite youtube video of all time —Nick H.]

Mario Kart 64: The Quest for World Record Perfection [—Owen P.]

[SFM] Taco Review [—Tim M.]

Mid-West Freestyle Canoe 2007 -- Marc Ornstein [this, is, i assume the height of american culture. a man in a bowtie gently canoeing to Chris de Burgh's 1896 smash hit Lady in Red, while a crowd of midwesterners sporadically and politely applauds —James V.]


Thank you for reading BNet. Pwease wemember to dwink watew and stawp doomscwolling.