i know!!!!


Look, before we get to anything else we gotta talk about the thing. Can you believe it??? It’s so funny. Truly so, so funny. I’m laughin’! And it was also a really great, late-night internet moment — the first in a very, very long time.

Here’s what happened: Yesterday evening, the group chat was discussing hypotheticals, such as: if he has it. Was anyone hoping he had it? No comment. Then I went to bed.

So I’m lying in bed watching the season finale of Ted Lasso (starts slow, improves significantly after the first three eps) when I hear my phone buzz. Crucially, my phone buzzes but it doesn’t ding. I have push notifications set up so that the only notifications that buzz but don’t ding are alerts from the New York Times — I don’t need all those dings — and I think to myself, “Huh, weird. 1 a.m. Must be pretty significant news to send a push alert.” So I check my phone.

Instantly, I feel like I’ve had five cups of coffee.

The group chat is already buzzing with the news. I reinstall Twitter on my phone. God, it’s so funny. And the East Coast is mostly asleep. Meaning that the only people posting about it are the late-night freaks (like myself) and people in California. It has been half a lifetime, and approximately one bazillion platforms, since I’ve experienced genuine “mods are asleep” energy but that was what last night had. It seemed like you could really just say complete gibberish and everyone who read your post would be like, “Yes!!! True!!!” Everything was in sync. Everyone’s vibrational frequency was aligned. It was a true who-up, real-Twitter-hours-smash-that-like kinda moment. Everyone’s just machine-gunning their crackling posts into the void.

Right as the fervor dies down, around 2 a.m., another friend pops into the chat and suddenly we’re all posting again. Every time you enouncter someone learning about it for the first time is like if you yourself are learning about it for the first time.

And then you get to wake up, and watch other people online experience the news fresh. A double dose of this incredible feeling.

Some posts:

wigan kebab babby’s yed smack barm pey wet

The above video, from last November, made the rounds this week and it’s very funny. I highly recommend you allow yourself three minutes of confusion and befuddlement and joy. It’s nice to watch a video where you see people living life in just a completely different way than youd.

It helps that there are subtitles on this because I would be completely lost otherwise. I guess in the UK, you can just string syllables together and call them words? He’s eating a pie in a bun? It’s just a full pie on some bread. Pey wet? That’s just the wet of the pey, mate. I hate when my pey wet has some pey in it but that’s pey wet for ya. And don’t even get me started on the babby’s yed. Don’t even get me started.

One of my many dumb fascinations is with local businesses posting bad image macros on their social media pages. It is, to me, very charming. As the restaurant’s single Yelp review from 2009, says: “The owner of the chippy Ronnie is well known locally for his sense of humour and great personality and he likes to keep his customers amused.” Here are some posted by The Trawlerman, where this video was filmed.

(It’s a two-Joker newsletter today.)

My favorite image by The Trawlerman, however, is this astounding collage that management uploaded to TripAdvisor. I am not kidding when I say that this genuinely makes me want to eat at The Trawlerman. Maybe soon!



One last Trawlerman post. Please leave your choices in the comments.

Thank you for reading BNet. I’m a B1E kind of guy.