switching to a modern OS

decisions, decisions

Last year, I decided to replace my MacBook Pro from 2013 with one from 2020 — the new ones with an Apple Silicon chip that I understand is “really good” but please don’t ask me to explain why. I know why, obviously, I just don’t want to explain. It is, based on the last 3 months of use, a good laptop. The hardware is superb. The software, however, is… eh.

MacOS is fine. I’ve been using it since it was called OS X in the 2000s (the “X” is a reference to the crotch-chop gesture that was very popular in that decade). But over the years, it’s transition to a “flat” design and rounder and rounder corners sometimes makes me feel like I’m using Operating System For Babies. It’s like if Microsoft Bob was made for adults — Microsoft Robert.

So I’ve decided my MacBook can eat dirt. I’m switching to Linux, but I’m not sure which version of Linux I should pursue. I’ve narrowed it down to these three options.


Biebian

Biebian is an altered version of Linux which, depsite its name, is not based on Debian. According to its creator, “Biebian is not based off Debian or Ubuntu. It is based off Puppy Lucid 525, and that is part of the joke.” Obviously, I understand the joke, and much like how I know why the M1 chip is good, I’m not going to get into it here.

I’m hesitant to dive into Biebian in part because it’s own creator says, “The idea began on 4chan's /g/. Anyone who takes it too seriously is silly and needs to take a dump.” Unfortunately, my computing needs are very serious and I will not be commenting on my BM status, so Biebian might be out.

On Sourceforge, Biebian has a user-review average of 3.7 out of 5 stars. (There are 3 reviews.) It was last updated in 2014.


Hannah Montana Linux

Hannah Montana Linux has a lot of promise. It’s based on Kubuntu and it’s got pictures of Hannah Montana, plus the Linux penguin with the Hannah Montana logo on their chest. According to its creator:

Hannah Montana Linux is a free operating system based on Kubuntu with a Hannah Montana theme.
Hannah Montana Linux is fast, stable and powerful.
It includes a Hannah Montana themed boot screen, KDM, icon set, ksplash, plasma, color scheme, and wallpapers.
It is not vulnerable to Windows viruses.

As far as I can tell, Hannah Montana Linux isn’t a joke. The project was registered on SourceForge in 2008 and was last updated in 2013. Its creator writes on an FAQ page that “I thought - what would attract young users to Linux? So I created this idea after a lot of reading and work.”

This collection of links genuinely made me laugh.

Reviews are mostly positive, which is nice! It has an average of 4 out of 5 stars, based on four user reviews, though I think one of the users might be a bit biased.

I’m already pretty sold on Hannah Montana Linux, but its creator even included the lyrics for a full-length parody of the show’s theme song “Best of Both Worlds” to really close the deal.


DemiLovatoLinux

Just for the hell of it, I decided to check out what else the authors of Hannah Montana Linux put out. One user, by the name of slashuer, put out a Linux for Lovatics in 2011.

Some perks:

GNOME 3
Ubuntu based operating system
Tons of software (Mostly really good free software ;)
Fast and Smart
Secure
Does not get virus malware or spyware
Intuitive & inavative design make it so you can do everything quick
Easy to use
Open Source
Free!
Live CD boot it to try is or take it on the go
Demi Lovato themes & Styles

Okay… I’m interested… and the creator say it’s “Made for Demi Lovato fans.” I’d kinda assumed but it’s nice of them to confirm as much. Unfortunately, there are no reviews for DemiLovatoLinux, and it appears support for the OS began and ended in December of 2011. I probably shouldn’t expect any new patches anytime soon.


Anyway, those are the top three contenders for my next OS. If you have any suggestions or advice, leave a note in the comments section I’ve disabled!


Elsewhere…


Thank you for reading BNet. Someone please make a Linux for my dog.