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the types of tweets

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the types of tweets

a guide

Brian Feldman
Mar 30, 2021
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One could say that, if they wanted. This past week, Lil Nas X, the musician, released “Montero (Call Me By Your Name),” in which he hangs out with the devil and then kills the devil to become the devil himself. He’s selling some satanic, modded Nikes to go along with it. It’s classic Satanic Panic bait and everyone you thought would be dumb enough to fall for it fell for it.

Lil Nas X is “good at Twitter.” Many people say this and it’s true. He’s good at posting. In fact, one might say his first hit single’s success is partially attributable to an online audience he built by posting a lot before he’d even recorded a single lyric. Others might also say he’s “extremely online,” a descriptor that I think unhelpfully exoticizes standard, mainstream behavior and is roughly as helpful as saying a high school student is “extremely in class” or a dolphin is “extremely underwater.”

There are many different ways to be good at posting. For instance, the former president was good at posting because he was unpredictable and so blunt and unsubtle that it kinda knocked you off-balance. I think a lot of what think of as “good at Twitter” is merely about subverting expectations to get attention. A president who sends unhinged tweets at 5 a.m., musicians who say stuff that appears to not be PR handler-approved, a fast-food brand tweeting about clinical depression and self-care. Stunts, in other words.

What make Lil Nas X different, in my view, is that he’s a lot more versatile, and there’s a variety to his approach. One that can be inherently understood as someone adapting on the fly and deploying different strategies as needed. It’s not a brute force approach, or a stubborn one. It’s very canny.

Some might be tempted to call what follows a “taxonomy” or a “glossary” or whatever; it’s just a list.

intentional lameness

One of the best ways to let someone online know that you are not interested in talking to them is to say the lamest possible comeback. Like, these are so lazy and bad that they instantly convey not defensiveness, or anger, but genuine boredom. This is literally posting the first thing that pops into your head.

Twitter avatar for @LilNasX
nope 🏹 @LilNasX
u can’t last 30 seconds in bed with your wife https://t.co/6mFCJlceWb
Twitter avatar for @NickAdamsinUSA
Nick Adams @NickAdamsinUSA
Clowns like @LilNasX & @iamcardib couldn’t last 30 seconds on a debate stage with the likes of @RealCandaceO!
12:55 AM ∙ Mar 29, 2021
220,661Likes16,691Retweets
Twitter avatar for @LilNasX
nope 🏹 @LilNasX
yep and i might fuck yours https://t.co/PJ9nil77IJ
Twitter avatar for @KaitMarieox
Kaitlin Bennett @KaitMarieox
Do you still see your dad? https://t.co/yZhocQvvE5
3:06 AM ∙ Mar 29, 2021
483,148Likes58,187Retweets

reposting what people think are Ws but are actually Ls

These posts are like if someone saying that they are “not mad, and in fact, laughing” was actually tellign the truth. You happily post people overreacting, to show how cool and chill you are.

Twitter avatar for @LilNasX
nope 🏹 @LilNasX
LETS FUCKIN GOOOO! WE MADE FOX NEWS! https://t.co/pkEpbcMPqy
Twitter avatar for @Acyn
Acyn @Acyn
More Fox News coverage of Lil Nas X: ...Nas might find himself sliding down that pole for real https://t.co/PustFA5hv3
2:49 AM ∙ Mar 30, 2021
159,086Likes9,279Retweets
Twitter avatar for @LilNasX
nope 🏹 @LilNasX
Image
2:24 AM ∙ Mar 29, 2021
79,039Likes4,777Retweets
Twitter avatar for @LilNasX
nope 🏹 @LilNasX
i’m sampling this https://t.co/H2mlZs9YkW
Twitter avatar for @RightWingWatch
Right Wing Watch @RightWingWatch
Right-wing pastor Greg Locke is not a fan of Lil Nas X (apologies for the quality of the video - the livestream of Locke's service today was glitchy.) https://t.co/CJ3DSUuqth
6:27 PM ∙ Mar 28, 2021
318,239Likes20,963Retweets

the grand scheme of things

This is a close relative of whataboutism that people deploy online to deflect controversy. Whataboutism is usually about hypocrisy, but ‘the grand scheme of things’ is more about just blocking someone’s view with something nobody in their right mind would try to diminish. “Oh, you think this is bad? Is is worse than genocide?”

Twitter avatar for @LilNasX
nope 🏹 @LilNasX
y’all saying a gay nigga twerking on a cgi satan is the end of times like slavery and the holocaust didn’t happen
12:50 AM ∙ Mar 27, 2021
325,498Likes39,791Retweets
Twitter avatar for @LilNasX
nope 🏹 @LilNasX
we are in a pandemic and y’all are going on day 5 of being mad at a gay nigga who don’t do none but tweet all day
7:12 AM ∙ Mar 29, 2021
268,504Likes17,438Retweets

you, a serious person, are getting mad at me, a clown

Simple self-deprecation, with the added flair of using your attackers own sense of self-importance against them. If you are so important, why do you care about me? This is kinda like suicide bombing — taking yourself down to expose how weird it is that people consider you an enemy at all.

Twitter avatar for @LilNasX
nope 🏹 @LilNasX
ur a whole governor and u on here tweeting about some damn shoes. do ur job!
Twitter avatar for @govkristinoem
Governor Kristi Noem @govkristinoem
Our kids are being told that this kind of product is, not only okay, it's "exclusive." But do you know what's more exclusive? Their God-given eternal soul. We are in a fight for the soul of our nation. We need to fight hard. And we need to fight smart. We have to win. https://t.co/m1k1YWFpuo
6:52 PM ∙ Mar 28, 2021
198,090Likes18,637Retweets
Twitter avatar for @LilNasX
nope 🏹 @LilNasX
y’all have spent 5 days discussing a nigga who wore this in public
Image
12:51 AM ∙ Mar 30, 2021
226,889Likes14,382Retweets

by your logic

As a general rule, I think doing “by your logic” traps are corny, but the rules are different when you are a national celebrity with a wide variety of followers. Some people, those who do not follow online communication trends closely, appreciate a gotcha. Sometimes you have to toss them a few.

Twitter avatar for @LilNasX
nope 🏹 @LilNasX
the only mfer i mocked was the devil. i thought y’all hated that nigga. https://t.co/NCgjYkicNR
1:54 AM ∙ Mar 30, 2021
115,292Likes8,595Retweets
Twitter avatar for @LilNasX
nope 🏹 @LilNasX
i thought y’all didn’t like political correctness. what happened? 😫😢
4:28 PM ∙ Mar 29, 2021
160,638Likes9,954Retweets

the fakeout

I like this one a lot because it’s obviously not a real apology, but he went through the effort of uploding it to YouTube, rather than putting it on Twitter natively, and he made a generic “I’m sorry” thumbnails for it. It’s that kind of attention to detail that attracts web-literate followers and also ropes dopes.

Twitter avatar for @LilNasX
nope 🏹 @LilNasX
Lil Nas X Apologizes for Satan Shoe youtu.be/ESf8Un3g9zM
Image
5:54 PM ∙ Mar 28, 2021
167,920Likes12,964Retweets

wholesome content

It’s easy but it works!

Twitter avatar for @LilNasX
nope 🏹 @LilNasX
bro my fucking 4th grade teacher saw the video oh my god i’m gonna cry
Image
Image
Image
3:48 PM ∙ Mar 27, 2021
361,026Likes11,637Retweets

just posting solid jokes and obvious trolling

Again, it’s easy but it gets the job done.

Twitter avatar for @LilNasX
nope 🏹 @LilNasX
omg if you roll down your window at chic fil a playing call me by your name they give u a free sandwich and a lemonade
5:03 PM ∙ Mar 29, 2021
169,659Likes10,275Retweets

fake baby

I’ll be honest: I did not expect Lil Nas X to pull out a “woke toddler” tweet. That’s a conversational tactic borne out of Resistance Twitter and other heavily unironic sectors of the site, so to see it deployed at this scale is genuinely impressive. The quick explanation is a parent makes up their small child saying something far above their age level in order to prove some sort of point. You gotta hand it to him here.

Twitter avatar for @LilNasX
nope 🏹 @LilNasX
showed my 3 month old niece the call me by your name video and she said “uncle that was quite the stupendous visual, why in heavens would any individual be enraged over such a sensational showpiece” i’m gonna go cry yall😢😢
8:17 PM ∙ Mar 26, 2021
142,211Likes9,473Retweets

Elsewhere…

  • I cannot stress how much “Let’s see paul allen’s ‘let’s see paul allen’s’ meme” bore me, so click at your own risk

  • briefly looked into the girl who allegedly sent Frozen RP to a 200-person GroupMe, but the lines excerpted are from the actual movie. Not sure why they sent it regardless but at least it’s not fanfic

  • squarespace deleted

  • here’s me

  • the Suez Canal ship’s crates being in the shape of Loss.jpeg and an Among Us crewmate is obviously fake but, nonetheless:

Twitter avatar for @ItsMobbb
Mob @ItsMobbb
we’re living in a simulation.
Image
Image
Image
4:18 PM ∙ Mar 29, 2021
80,113Likes7,980Retweets

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