vehicle dudes

they're back, in a way

In the summer of 2016, there was a web series I very much appreciated call “Car Boys.” The premise of “Car Boys” was that two guys played a game called BeamNG.drive, which is a piece of software that specializes in modeling soft-body physics. (Supposedly there’s a game with objectives and stuff somewhere in there.) Other racing games have cars that bump off obstacles and maybe get scratched a little, whereas the metal on BeamNG cars crumples and deforms in a variety of realistic (or believable) ways. “Car Boys” had a lot of fun with this concept, over the course of its runs, growing more surreal with each episode as it pushed the software’s computational limits. Unfortunately, I have never revisited the series because a) one of its hosts was later found to be a creep, and b) the media company that published the series and the clowns who run it are now my sworn enemies. (Mostly a but don’t count out b.) You win some, you lose some.

So anyway, it’s been a while since I’ve come across the majesty of BeamNG, but thank goodness, it’s back on TikTok.

There is a very good meme right now and the bit is: people narrate their terrible crashes and how they’d survive them. Here’s a favorite:

Right off the back. We’re sliding. It’s fun! I’m actually bumping some music while I’m doing this. Yeah, we have some airtime and right here: BAM! that shit split open my big toe, my big toenail, and fuck that hurt. But I’m still alive — bam — right here another slide. That was fun, it kinda distracted me from the pain on my toe. And right here we’re catching a bunch of airtime, my hands are in the air. You know, I’m just listening to music, I’m vibing, and right here… okay, that was like a little slide, so no damage. The car’s comi— the car’s slow, there’s fire… right there I jump out. I’m good, I just start sitting. I’m alive, guys.

Anyway, it’s a good bit. I’m having fun watching this bit, which combines realistic physics simulations, shortform self-insert fanfiction, and guys bullshitting about how they’re different.

Anyway, here are some more good ones:


AOC and Ilhan Omar are streaming right now

They’re playing Among Us with some big-name streamers and I don’t really have much to add to it except it’s cool to see government reps who are, like, halfway normal. It’s working on me! Maybe that makes me a mark. Catch the VOD clips highlights, of which there will be many, tomorrow. Anyway, here are some tweets:


Elsewhere…


Thank you for reading BNet. If you are a U.S. Senator or Representative interested in streaming Among Us with me and my friends, drop me a line.